Self-Sabotaging: How we get in our own way
I am sure you have heard of The expression “you are your own worst enemy”
There are moments in life when something happens. We make up a story about the why and the what. We start to live our life as if our story were true. Because we believe they’re keeping us safe. The truth is, these stories are stopping you from getting the big results you’re looking for.
How many times have we acted against your self-interest, then asked yourselves why did I do that?
Why did I procrastinate on that goal? Why have I stopped doing that one thing that makes me feel great?
Your limiting beliefs are self-sabotaging you and getting in your way from what you would like to achieve.
What are limiting beliefs?
Our limiting beliefs are formed from our early life experiences. Without realizing it, we tend to internalize attitudes that were directed toward us by parents or influential caretakers throughout our development. For example, if our parent or the influences around us, saw us as not exactly smart (struggled with academics), you may have grown up feeling dumb or a failure. We may then have engaged in self-sabotaging thoughts that told us we aren't going to succeed because we don't have the intelligence to be whoever we want to be. , i.e.“ Youll fail anyway? You’ll never succeed anyway. You just don't have what it takes.
We can’t change the past. Yet, as adults, we can identify the self-sabotaging thoughts that we’ve internalized and consciously choose to act against them. When we fall victim to our limiting beliefs and listen to its directives, we often engage in self-limiting or self-sabotaging behaviours that hurt us in our daily lives. As author Elizabeth Gilbert put it, “You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That’s the only thing you should be trying to control.”
How to Stop Engaging in Self Sabotaging Behavior
Four tips to shift your limiting beliefs:
Pause, stop and reflect you feel fear or resistance about an activity, pause. Become aware that it's your limiting beliefs talking.
Understand your thoughts are not the truth Write down your thoughts. Try and identify the stories or ‘lies’ you’re telling yourself. Where did this way of thinking start? Understand that you created these ‘lies’ by giving meanings to events, but that they are not the truth about you now!.
Look for evidence Be aware that you have the power to turn your lies into truths by looking for evidence that is the opposite of your limiting beliefs/ who the person you've become.
Take back your power Stop blaming the outside world for your results. You alone are in command of your thoughts and your life. Take the steps you need to take towards your objective.
So is it time for you to change and embrace a new narrative? If you can re-program your thoughts, you will definitely create a courageous and confident mindset. So why not rewrite your story around new life-enhancing beliefs? What have you got to lose?