How To Attract Authentic Friendships
There was a time not too long ago in my life when I was with all the wrong people.
Let me be clear, they were awesome women. However, they just weren’t my people. I grew with them, we went through it all together, the highs and lows. It wasn't just until I got married that things started to change. I went through a very hard time and I felt so lonely. The woman who said they would be by my side through thick and thin were no longer were seen in the darkest of my days. I went through some hard times that started to change me and made me start a self discover journey, to know and love myself. The more I started becoming more of myself, I noticed that my friends didn’t get me anymore; they enjoyed things that I didn’t. I noticed they made me feel insecure about the things that made me who I was. I was giving so much of myself but only receiving little in return.There was a time not too long ago in my life when I was with all the wrong people.
I felt lonely, drained and lost. Lonely because I didn't feel like they cared in a time when i needed them the most. Drained because I had to try and be someone else to fit in with who they were and what they wanted to do.Lost because it sucks to feel like you don’t fit in with those people that once meant the world to you.
We use to sing those Graduation (Friends Forever) Vitamin C song lyrics but soon I realised we weren't going to be friends forever. Letting go was the hardiest thing that I ever had to do.
It was hard to let go but it was the best thing I ever did. As it opened the door and made space for true authentic friendships. The woman I have around me now are a true representation of who I want to be. They are empowering, uplifting,supportive powerful woman who love me Bec for who I am. When you surround yourself with a powerful tribe you start to flourish.
So how do you attract the right people into your life?
1. BE 100% you! And love all of you!
When you start to be your true self, by that I mean to live life to please yourself not others. Always ask yourself what do you want, feel and think! Reframe from feeling judged by others and start living true to yourself. Who you are and what YOU want! Be venerable, the more people see the real you, the more chance you'll find friends that are just like you.
2. Love your imperfections and find friends who accept them.
Your imperfections are all part of who you are, never feel like you need to change them to fit in and never be ashamed of them. I know for a fact I am so bad with anything to do with English. I could never spell, and I tend to say words that are either made up or are said differently. As it's quite noticeable a venerable friend made fun of that side of me. It used to really hurt me. Now my authentic friends know it's just me, one calls my made up words Bec’s dictionary and we laugh together! Cherish your imperfections as they make you unique it sets you apart from everybody else.
3. If you feel like you are being authentic and still attracting the wrong people
I can 100% guarantee you are still not being genuine. When talking to people do you fail to mention the things that you really love in fear of being judged or criticised or just to fit in? Do you smile and nod when you really want to give someone a piece of your mind? Do you dress to please others? Do you have a work mode, friend mode and family mode?
If you said yes for some or all of these, these are examples of where an inauthentic version of you may be appearing and creating opportunities for the wrong people to attract into your life.Yes, I know it's hard to put yourself out there because of the fear of rejection is deep. But by being true to yourself, you will automatically deter those people who don’t belong in your life. They are not the people that will love and appreciate the uniquely beautiful person that you are. They are not the people who will support you through thick and thin and who understand when you need them the most.
4. Respect and Reflect your morals and beliefs
We all have our own set of morals and beliefs if you are not sure what yours are. Grab a bit of paper and write and understand yourself a little better. Make sure you are true to your morals and beliefs as they have shaped you into the person you are today. Listen to your gut as it always knows the truth that lies within. By listening to yourself and how you see the world, you will attract others that are like minded to you and what you believe in! Be vocal on the values and beliefs that mean the most to you. If someone doesn’t reflect this in his or her life, accept that he or she just isn't for you and that’s ok, let them free.
Start being the authentic you today! Wear those clothes that you feel most comfortable in and always speak your truth! Start small and be prepared to let the wrong people fall out of your life. Remember, you are simply creating an enjoyable life of authenticity that will attract the right people with zero effort.
Let your Inner Beauty Shine,
Bec xx