For me, disappointment is one of life's most uncomfortable feelings.
It can make you feel angery, hurt, sadness and sometimes that emotion cuts so deep it can end up making you feel heartbroken.
Disappointment can hover in the back of your mind and can niggle at you, bringing a grey perspective of life to your forefront.
Here are 4 steps I’ve recently identified in my own process for genuinely getting past disappointment:
1. Let it out.
One of the hardest things to do in a world where everything is immediate—we are all under external pressure, and time is a scarce resource—is to just let yourself experience a feeling.
Even at the most difficult times, such as grieving, on average we only allow ourselves 1 to 2 weeks off or work, and then we mostly expect to get back into normality again.
Human beings are not very good at allowing the experiencing of emotions in full without trying to speed up the process. The only time we have this ability in its purest sense is when we are young children who have yet to be told or taught what is socially acceptable.
Allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling without any agenda of speeding up the process. Whatever you are feeling is OK. Take some time to just sit with your emotion and experience it without moving to fix or change it.
Genuinely experiencing emotions, no matter how painful, is one of the beauties of life. Don’t shy away from these moments. Be present in them.
2. Get some perspective.
Look at things from a positive perspective. No matter what that disappointment is it has taught you some valuable lessons. Listen to your own thoughts. Sometimes the hardest disappointments let us look deep within ourselves and see that we deserve more or that this has happened for a reason. Sometimes hard times redirect you to the destiny you deserve. If it’s a job that seems to disappoint you maybe they don’t see your true value, write down what you really want in your career what direction you would like to go. Feeling lost in your employment and being disappointed can make each day a challenge. If it’s a relationship and you’ve had to let them go, maybe it's for the best. If you have made an impact on their lives no matter the time that passed or another relationship they will enter you will always be in their heart, no matter on the terms you have ended. By letting someone go you may find someone who is more in line with what you want. If it's your health and your body disappoints you, I have been here. When you want to live life like everybody else but your body lets you down. It's ok to be disappointed but also be gentle with your body and give it self love. If a friend has disappointed you, have you looked at the situation from all perspectives. Sometimes putting yourself in someone else shoes can give you a real insight into the whole situation. Sometimes it’s ok to outgrow friendships, sometimes you are better off shutting that door and moving along.
3. Don’t let it consume you
If you are laying awake all night thinking about it over and over again it can soon turn into an unhealthy habit. Meditation is a great way to redirect your focus to the present moment, not on the past situations. A great app to try is headspace it is a great free introduction to mindfulness meditation and will help you let you of the anxiety surrounded by how you are feeling.
4. Know that better days are ahead
I know it doesn’t feel like it right now but you will one day look back on this time and say “ wow I got through that”. One day you will feel happy again and this disappointment will soon be something you never think about anymore. You may look back and thank it for what it has taught you
You are allowed to feel disappointed it is part of being human. Own it, feel it and let it teach you lessons on life.
Let your inner beauty shine