The way we talk to ourselves shapes our reality with the interactions we have with others and our life experiences. Self-talk is made by a series of beliefs which are installed in us as a child. Can you remember your parents telling you to clean your room or make your bed? You would instantly feel loved and be rewarded for your work. You got the idea that you are only accepted if you do certain things. This early message is your self-talk. Think of yourself as a new computer to work you must install the software. This software is your beliefs.
Throughout your childhood, the words that are used towards you and the experiences you have are being installed and are programming you. Eventually, when you reach your adolescence, your hard-drive is full and outdated. You have no idea how to reprogram it, so you stick with the old software(beliefs) that you know.
A new software update of (new beliefs) is waiting to be installed. If you start to install the new software, you will start to work more productive and faster. This is when you start taking responsibility for yourself.
“The whole point of being alive is to evolve into the complete person you were intended to be” Oprah Winfrey.
The first software update for this is taking responsibility for our mouths, how we talk to ourselves and how we speak to others. The words and phrases we say are an extension of our thoughts and represents who we are.
Steps To Installing Positive Self-Talk
1. Start listening to the words you say
If you hear yourself using negative or limiting words, change them to something positive, e.g.,.” I have to go to work” instead replace it with “ I choose to go to work because it pays for my mortgage”. When your choosing to it puts a different perspective on your life.
2. Listen to others around you, hear the words they are using.
If they are sharing a negative story or gossiping about someone, stop yourself from repeating it. It has gone far enough, let it go as it doesn't serve you,
“Surround yourself with positive people, and you will be a positive person” Kellie Pickler
3. Replace I should with I am- Take action.
"Don't wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles, and less than perfect conditions. So what? Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident, and more and more successful." Mark Victor Hansen
4. When you go to bed what is your last thoughts?
Make it a positive thought as when you wake up you will remember this and it will shape your mood for the day. Before you close your eyes remind yourself of one thing you are thankful for.
5. Remind yourself every single day of the unique qualities you have
Write on a paper your qualities and say them to yourself in the mirror. As though it seems silly to start with, you will see many improvements in your self-confidence the more you do it.
David Sarwer is a psychologist and clinical director at the Center for Weight and Eating Disorders at the University of Pennsylvania. He says that, in fact, a mirror is one of the first tools he uses with some new patients. He stands them in front of a mirror and coaches them to use gentler, more neutral language as they evaluate their bodies.
When you start to install these steps into your daily life, you will create a brand new you,Version 2.0! You will begin to build positive self-talk within yourself and others around you, creating a life that you deserve.
BE PROUD BE YOU, LET YOUR INNER BEAUTY SHINE!